ZAO LIAO LOH!

Suddenly wanted a new change, so i changed blog add.. again.

Guess blog add? haha do u think u r god? I have my very own school of thought

http://esthericaltheories.blogspot.com

 Bye bye... multiply! you have been great but i'd still prefer a nice skin all of a sudden, and i want my own skin too!  

 I once had a friend

Her name was joyce...

She was far more successful than I am

Now she goes international

suck it, im stil a nobody, while she is famous

Im sooo jealous

Blur? here goes

++ Guys will Alwayzzz be Guys.. haizzz

Forgive all the tiko-pehs in the world. A tiko is born, not made...

++ Imagine a Life without Internet.

wa piang, i will bang head against wall n die. what to do witht he 50% of the time at work if there is no internet? work the other 50%? will get depressed. will die!

++ Imagine a life without night.

freaking bright la la... wat else. how to koon? how to do mysterious things. so bright, couples how to make love? thief how to break into houses and steal?

++ Imagine a life without chilli.

wat? no curry chicken? NO KATONG LAKSA?! U might as well just kill me. I won't eat anything else. I said I won't! stop shoving that sweet potato porridge in front of me! i wont eat it!

++ Imagine a life without NKF

No one to remind us that we are too farking naive to believe everything we watch on tv.

++ Imagine a life without money

she sell seashell on the seashore. how to sell seashells? no money, people use seashells. den how to sell seashell? like ey i want a seashell, i pass u a seashell to buy the seashell, den u pass me a seashell.

++ Imagine a life without tissue paper

all of us will be walking around with something dripping from our mouths like perhaps the lor mee gravy or strands of beehoon. and meanwhile mucus will be dripping from our noses.. underwear all stained with shit n urine cos use wat to wipe..

++ Imagine a life without bombs

den the terrorists wil use ribbons to scare people in Bali. Den they wil achieve no impact and get angry, den get more colourful ribbons and wave them more vigorously. they wave and wave n wave and in the end all turn ah gua and changi gets overpopulated

++ Imagine a life without Glenn Ong.

(thats perhaps wat he thinks. he thinks the flying dutchman wil die without him. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH GLENN ONG? whats with the acting all fed up at MCP statements and defending gals, think we will "ooooh glenn is such a sensitive guy to gals, lucky Jamie!" meh?)

++ Imagine a life without vulgarities

TAR MAR DERR! boh vulgar boh impact la GANINA.

++ Imagine a life without me

Shiok arh! dont have to read these nonsense meaningless shit

Response: Please la, have you ever thought about all these? I'm teaching you to count your blessings that u dun have mucus dripping frm ur nose and stil have katong laksa to eat.

++ That day i was on my way to tuition. On my way includes passing by a park...

++ den this Indian teen on a bicycle whizzed past me, never mind. ( aha.. u tot i was about to say sumthing huh... so u can slap me with a court order huh,,, )

++ noticed he was on a trick bike (or wat u call that stupid thing la). It looks so short like he stole his 3 yr old neighbour's tricycle and rode it out.

++ also noticed he had this "Im the king of the world" look.

++ saw him ride onto the road. As in road for cars...

++ weave past cars which had to brake for him

++ weave into the lane and rode face-on direction with oncoming cars..

++ rode onto the pavement and swerve to ride down this near 90 deg super steep grass slope and went down at top speed facing the risk of crashing into the millions of HDB void deck pillars right at the bottom of the slope

++ SLAM!!!! He yeah ahah ahah SLAMMED into a pillar, and I instinctively yelled "ROTI PRATA!!!", and laughed and rolled onto the floor and rolled dwn the slope and slammed into a pillar too...

++ ya u noe me enuff, thou i wish he did slam, he didnt. but wat is wrong with these guys? manly? macho? dun they know they look like the stupidest creatures on earth acting like that? (oki maybe 2nd stupidest, next to people who go and audition for roles in True Files)(ok maybe 3rd stupidest, let guys who put a million diff gals with him pictures n onli gals n him pics on Friendster be 2nd stupidest) What are these people thinking, seriously?

(think onli joyz can understand my entry, for those whu dun, i am ashamed to announce that I happen to know people who most unfortunately fell into the category of world's stupidest, and world 2nd stupidest people. )

++ I got back my money. from the car rental fucker who tried to scare me by cooking up damage costs, holding back my $100+ deposit, den disappeared for over a month when he promised to get me a reciept for claims in a day.

++ story is: i woke up today, at a freaking 7.56am when im damn tired. suddenly remembering everything n feeling damn angry. so i told myself.

FUCKING HELL I WILL GET MY MONEY BACK.

++ why shd i let someone sleep with my hundred bucks in his pocket? be it ten cents or one dollar. SUCH A FUCKING CHEAT DOES NOT DESERVE a single cent for his ASS

++ I hate all these road Lao Jiaos! u know those that glance at ur P Plate when u get into a minor accident (ie scratches that is not even as big as a grain of rice), and then try to scare u ("ok, we wun report this so that u wun get into trouble cos u onli have 12 demerit points. but u mus pay us an amt for our losses)

++ Fuck Lao Jiaos.

++ So i called Mr Lao Jiao, and fucked him. screwed him round n round n upside down. ended with a summarizing "if u dun gimme back my money today, i will SURELY go to the police. If u are not afraid, go ahead and hold onto my money "

++ den fucked up lao jiao called gou, n tried to blah his way out... hell no. I m free today and onli today. no money, police report..

++ n in the end i got my money. (MAIN POINT)

++ TO ALL THE LAO JIAOS OUT THERE. Dun see a female P plate and try to sucker her. Dun think every female is a chao bimbo who wil scutter underneathe the table when u mention demerit points. U USUALLY DUNNO WHO U R MESSING WITH.

++ If u come and try to claim any more money with a fake reciept, i will make sure U DIE

++ Forgot to share this cos i was apparently so pissed off with multiply not successfully uploading my journal entries. tues night i was on my way to meet dear at J8, so i took the bus, and stood cos there were no seats. Behind me seated

Male lead: Tiko peh. in his OBVIOUS 50s or 60s. with grey hair...U noe whats a tiko peh? u noe why i call him a tiko peh? cos he was dressed like this

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------>>>>>>>>>>>

Any one who is dressed like this, IS a tiko peh. I think the tiko pehs were born with such shirts on their skin, they cannot peel it off. Its an exclusive tiko peh body covering like the fish has scales and the chicken has feathers.

Female lead: Lao chu nu. I couldnt see her reflection cleary, n i dun wanna turn ard and stare, so lets give her the benefit of the doubt that she could jus be a plain unmarried lady. Ladies wilt at 35 if they dun get married, so if i dun get married at 35, dear friends pls push me off the building...

++ i could hear like every single word they are saying.

Tiko peh: eh so u work how long in this company liao?

Lao chu nu: work 5 years le lor

Tiko peh: har?? den got earn more than 1000 rite

Lao chu nu: ya got.

Tiko peh: so u live with ur brother arh?

Lao chu nu: (murmurs) yaa.... u leh, haven got wife ar?

Tiko peh: no la... haven leh.. my mother tell me to get married.

 (wa piang look at ur grey hai tiko peh, i cant believe ur mum stil got the energy to tell u to have a wife)

Lao chu nu: ok....

Tiko peh: I also feel so la. If I have a wife there is someone to accompany me ma, sick got ppl take care. if not... i will feel very lonely .... you leh? wun u feel lonely at times? will u like, feel lonely at night??

(at this point i wondered if the lao chu nu was thinking wat i was thinking)

Lao chu nu: (sensing something) er.......

Tiko peh: (continues in a softer and secretive tone) why dun u be my girlfriend? lidat we both wun be lonely le

(at this point me the kaypoh's eyes widen)

Lao chu nu: (silence)...........

Tiko peh: (with perserverance) ye xu, zhe shi ming zhong zhu ding de. which block u stay ar?

(must write in chinese, cos more poetic: it means: perhaps, this is meant to be.....)

++ I reached by destination liaozz, so i dunno what happened after that. siao boh, i cant stand seeing old man and women talk about bf gf.. i dunno why. i still feel they shd call each other "si gui " or "lao kuay bu" or something.. and how can the tiko peh jio the lady when he dun even noe her well enuff, like she work as wat and live where.

++ geylang is his true home man....... i'm so grossed out and tickled at the same time, i dunno what else to say

++ STUPID MULTIPLY SERVER

++ no entries shown after i have posted it.... THREE TIMES!

ONE MORE TIME THIS HAPPEN, I'm switching to my own blog.. no blogger, no blogspot... no multiply...

IM WARNING U, MULTIPLY....

++ i have entered a new era, the keypad-less ERA... give a round of applause to my new phone!!!!

++ i said i will find sumthing to match my armani shades din i? smirk! next, 1 GB SD card to store everything!

++ well it was payday, my first pay!!! n i splurged, sorry!!! but i'm happy happy happy...

++ today, i was spared frm the monday blues, officially on mc.. which isnt such a good thing because im feeling super weak right now.. according to my new doctor (glad to find another female doc in those mass of clinics in my precincts) my bf spreaded his flu virus to me and the viral infection triggered my asthma. man it was q serious cos i had to use the inhaler ALL OVER AGAIN, 2 kinds, and increased dosage

++ den on our way back hm dearie was playing "same step" with me (him fixing his footsteps to synchronise mine while i purposely changed to make him unable to follow--- bo liaozz rite) and jus playing it for 1 min makes me feel tight n i had to use the inhaler right then..

++ well i realli hate asthma, the illness plagued me since young. now i really hate the "bai shen" days when everyone burns incense and papers and it really gets to me...

++ oki i think i'm too sick to blog.. wondering whu will take minutes of today's meetings that im on mc, maybe richard wil be unfortunate enough.. hopes..

++ those were my grad flowers frm dear, not sum get well wreath... in case u were hoping that i'd pass away (hmmph)

++ bye.. drowsy... off to sleep

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.

"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

The genie stared at her.........

"Really?! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies

++ perhaps i never mentioned that i seriously have a distaste for online quizzes that seek to tell ym wonderful personality thru sum dumbass questions with options that one can obviously tell the answer from, and hence can alter their responses according to their desired outcome (n den put up on their blog for everyone to see).. heh i can come up with my own too. Test title:: How beautiful are you??? take this to test ur charm and the degree the opposite sex will be drawn to u... Jus answer one question!!!

Are You Bewitching?
Esther, your Charm makes you bewitching

It's not hard to see why you're so enchanting. Flirty and fun, you emanate a glow that others can't help but notice. No need to concoct a brew of toads and lizards, your magnetic personality is all you need to cast a spell on others. (WAHH REALLI ARH?! Blushes real PINK)

You're a friendly and outgoing person who makes other folks feel at ease. Not to mention, you're a sweetheart who's a great friend to just about everyone. You're just the right mix of sultry and sweet, and that's why you're so fascinating. So, keep leaving 'em spellbound. It's magical! (wow.. u flatter me....)

What's Your Beauty Aura?
Esther, your beauty aura is Exotic!

You take pleasure in experimenting with your look. You're always trying out new styles, fragrances, and beauty treatments. Sometimes you're trying to enhance what you've got. At other times your appearance is something you're creative with. Experimenting with a totally new haircut or the latest foaming face scrub is your way of exploring the world around you through different skins.  (i chose the wildest answers and it turns out lidat)

You are well aware that sheer makeup looks better on soft, well-cared for skin, so you try to keep your pores free from blemishes and oil. You don't have a signature scent because you're too busy trying them all to pick a favorite. At times you may risk hiding your true self behind all this glamorous self-indulgence, but hopefully you're just expressing your flamboyant, creative personality through lipstick, scents, and other fancy stuff.  (How dare they say im hiding myself, i'm so truly beautiful, this is not me! i'll take another test to prove it)

Do You Need a Makeover?
Esther, you'd love a makeover that would make you a Glamour Queen

A sophisticated woman like you knows that one of her best accessories is a hearty dose of self-confidence. And even if you're not always completely sure of yourself, you like giving off the impression that you are. And it usually works. That's why you'd benefit from a glamorous and elegant makeover to make your appearance match your bold personality. (you dun cum n fuck with me la! im so glamourous enuff i whr got nid a makeover, u nid it urself la cos u r obviously blind la !!!) (mike wil kill me if if he catches me speakin lidat)

Anything from a great new dress to a sexy pair of heels to the perfect smoky eye shadow can add that special something to your look. If creating a dramatic effect is what you're after, just add a little oomph without overdoing it. And you'll get heads turning. Spicy! ( no nid makeover i also hot liao. chey, buay zun one la this test, i shant put it on the blog that i onli add my male friends.. can u imagine what they wil think of me???)
 
++ OKi since i stil have an hour to waste before i leave the office i shall do one more... maybe can get sum results that portray myself as whu i realli am den i can post or everyone to see.. yay!!!!!

-I think that you shouldn't have sex with just anyone. It has to be with someone you love deeply enough that you can give and trust your partner with your body and soul. I would wait til you're married.

Aiyo some of the answers are soo geeky!!!! not fit for a sex goddess like me!

So... TADAAA!!!! in a number of quizzes and not more than 30 mins i have reestablished myself as a drop-dead gorgeous, sultry sweet, dun-realli-nid-makeover, babelicious SEX SYMBOL!!! Ladies and gentlemen, i present to you, the wonderful beautiful voluptuous charming bewitching and fatally appealing.. ESTHER!!! jio me out! jio me out!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
+ dies amidst laughter and guffaws+
 
 
 

++ no sweat... random tots

++ i have almost decided on that major career dilemma... i'm most probably starting work in july.... unless, they suddenli tell me, "Miss Esther, we no longer admire ur stupid Bachelors in Political Science"... dear, catherine n jer all said its fine with the bond thing, aft al im getting a professional qualification in return... well but the 1st 2 yrs will definitely be hell, work, study, and tuition, NO FREE DAY IN A WEEK.. im jus gonna slog the shit out of myself because at least im doing something challenging n not jus mundane admin, worst, financial planning

++ speaking of which i can thoroughly hate the insurance n financial planning industry in a matter of days... my personal opinion is that i really dislike their dishonesty. firstly, they try to mask that undesirable job under various names to dupe ppl into going interviews. Like, if grads are turned off when they hear the work "insurance agents". they came up with "financial planner/ consultant" .. den these terms are established and grads get turned off, they came up with more "sophisticated" names like "wealth management executive" and "management trainee" --- i think that realli distorts the real title of the original meaning of management trainees

++i once was duped into this interview when they placed an ad stating that they are a British MNC ... i tried to be cautious and asked abt the job scope, the person on the phone says come dwn n find out... then i asked for the name of the office so i could locate it, they gave sum phoney name....

++den when i arrived, i see this HUGE SMILING LOGO that says Prudential

++AM SO PISSED?! what makes them think that by taking on multiple fake identities, and blatant lying to get ppl to waste their time and travel down. is going to change their mindsets abt that undesirable job n eventually accept that job??? wat makes them believe in that philosophy...

(ttok revenge by duping them back. pretended to be so interested so they book me for tests la, seminar la.. den jus disappear into thin air)

++recently tons of financial planning co have been calling me to tell me i m shortlisted for "insurance agent and its mulitple varying names" when i applied for sumthing else in the first place, which make me suspect that they posted fake ads in order to obtain resumes and contacts for again, that undesirable job position.. the derogatory status is sumthing they inflict on themselves, whu ask them to resort to so many underhand means????

++ oki bad experiences.. cuming to an end soon... +hopeful++

++ I'm praying hard for Operation Rehome Sugar to be a success.. +fingers crossed+ brother even got the cushion.. thats sweet of him... my brother is my eternal dependable supporter... he supports me in everything... i think i totally scared the shit out of him that day when i refused to talk to him cos he did not want to do my homework... that one one fiery temper episode i did not regret, at least it did sum gd for him.. din even dare to play a fool during tuition the next day...

++ today is Daddy's Day!!! my gift have been laying idle since 3 weeks ago cos i tot father's day was last week. could tell that my dad was real happi with it... a Parker pen with his name engraved on it... cos he lost his like last year, and using a substitute lauya red leaf ball point now.. hahhahahahha... i love making my dad happi, like how he calls me zhu everyday n pulls my hair to irritate me, i will find sum way to retort him n make him laff.. his recent craze is the "snake fist" which he will flash at my mum everytime she nags.. that nv fail to tickle me nuts

++ well at times when im not in depression, i feel bad towards my brother cos im sumtimes so strict with him.... but i also wan to control my indulgence.. been giving him so much money n luxuries which include him chalking up my bill with 60+ bucks of GPRS game usuage when i was in thailand (KNS!)...  feel bad towards dad cos sumtimes i feel i should have worked harder in sch, in various parts of my life, n get better results (but i think that ceremony is enuff) haha.. feel bad to my dear cos i always get angry over the slightest thing n blow it all up when im depressed, it jus happened that day n he came dwn to my hse to appease me aft a phone quarrel, with chocolates (chocolates melt me).... geeee.......

++ i have 3 wonderful guys in my life.. they noe my nasty temper, they noe my flaws, but they are still with me at the end of it all.........

++ intending to munch on ruffles sour cream and onion chips later (reminds me of doluli's bloggie)... and this crazy craving for chicken curry that is not too think... wow... i'm exam-less, yet im intending to pig out... intending, i'm still rather safe..

++ din help much that catherine went :" you so guai, i give u 4 mango puddings..." "i cook mee sua for u..." etc etc..

++ i'm a gd tutor maybe, but definitely not a good employee, haha. i flop interviews all the time... was offered this job yest but stil considering. gd points: get to take a course n cert in chartered secretaryship, legal deg, all sponsored, pretty challenging job scope... downsides: 2 yrs on the job training cum course w low pay, subsequently bond for 2 years... dilemma, but eventually casted it off as a last resort thing...

++ dearie's sis was nice to offer me this intro into ocbc by her fren, but fingers are definitely crossed. gd offers are not destined to land on me..

++ maybe precious moments stuff are.. recently had this craze, and have been buying them, not for me thou, for brianna...

++ dug out my old precious moments diary, ha the kind that is no longer selling.. next pay day i'd run to get the current ones selling... yesh im realli bo liao.. but i love to indulge in desires...

++ desires dun include low pay jobs for god's sake! n no wonder people always says uni grads are super fussy, i finally realised that it is inevitable.

++ consider the ton of money invested in getting that cert (havign to pay back study loan, which is inevitable)

++ consider the fart of studying non-stop for 17 years

++ consider the strain of not succumbing to insanity meanwhile

++ and YOU FREAKING OFFER ME LOW PAY???????? and talk to me in that sense MR EMPLOYER??!!! that oh-yet-another-cocky-grad-candidate-who-is-so-gonna-look-dwn-on-the-pay-i-offer...

++ ya im pissed, and i dun appreciate any chance in there.. genting lane, are u kidding me? Dad took 30 mins to come dwn n fetch me hm, man i'm so not slaughtering myself...

++ pride and prejudice.......

++ den i have to face back the fact that im jus a measly tutor now earning peanuts, with newly-bought facials dropping into the toilet bowl...

++ yes it happened.. FOR THE FREAKING 2ND TIME!!!!!!!! haiz den, i couldnt believe myself that it happened 2 times in a month..

++ a nice bf is one that recognises that upsetness, and buys u the 3rd new one during his lunch break.. +comforted smile+ I'm so going to marry this guy...

++ jus kidding, im so gonna buy that apartment first (yes i have the exact one in mind)... investment plans.. dreams rather

++ maybe i'd go mountain climbing, an everest attempt. BAH!

++ met with peishan last nite when she got to chauffeur me this time round... we went to sum S11 and pretended to be impoverished souls, scrooges, sharing this plate of food, and refused to let cleaner clear the plate when there were onli scraps left... talk was almost as crap as the actions but it was fun late night talking with old pal..

++ monday was the blues, the terrible blues, the PMS, the depression.. can u believe i turned dwn and interview jus cos i felt like lying at home and feel blue? that was realli bad man, a series of unfortunate events, like toilet-bowl bound facials which were the most minor cases... a nice bf is one who brings me to reservoir and encouraged me to talk abt the blues despite his tired work as police, and brings me to prata late nite.. at reservoir, u noe la, those couple who drives up and make out beside our car, i think we were the most holy beings there, having talks... but sumthing caught our interests so, in the bushes facing the parked cars, we noticed a human figure busy spying on this corolla beside us with R21 flick playing inside... it was dark, but i still suspected it was a bangla, den his head peeped out....

++ couple in corolla in the heat, gal on top... (OKI I ADMIT I WAS WATCHING ALL THE WHILE).. den gal got so caught up she pressed on the horn...

PAAEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

"Bangla" scurries off.....

++ thou a boring plot, but it did cheer up my blues partially.... heat couple, peeping bangla... we had a great time watching them all

++ sunday dear brought me to cosy bay, yes the place we have officially guaranteed: most loving place.... den i think abt how long, or how improbable, when i can afford that place...

++ whack.

++ everyone's warning me abt those impossible DIY french manicures but i so wanna prove them wrong, because i believe i can do nails pretty well, sumtimes i even believe its a talent

++ note: believe

++ argh. its jus that i realli have nothing better to do.

++ NUA inc copyrights reserved

++ caught the sneak preview of Mr n Mrs Smith yest.. went 2 hrs early but got the front 3 rows.. luckily was q far frrm the screen. did not let me dwn, it was the most enjoyable film i've watch this year but im not exactly a movie buff.

++Angelina Jolie is a BABE, is A BABE. i was so busy watching her and took no notice of Bread Pig. the plot is smart, she is smart, and i love anything smart! pretty gd chemistry between the two also, wonder abt the rumours thou.. haha whu cares.

++ b4 the film i went for last min bday celebrations for xuewen (reverse chronological order?) She is jus sooo cute n sooo chubby.. think this is the first time she has a bunch of ppl celebrating for her, extras being pu ki lao shi and brianna n catherine... normally its onli her parents her maid n her cos of the way her cousins look dwn on her. me n catherine bought her the entire set of disney's princesses series, the schoolbag, wallet, pencil case, notebook.... and sum other things and we wrapped them all seperately, knew she would love to recieve lots of presents and open them one by one... look at her blowing the cake.. so cute. even my bf likes her, onli julie the bitch will spend her high class time to tease and taunt a cute 6 yr old little gal

++ btw me n the lees has establish this NO-FACE-GRANTED policy towards Bitchy Julie.. after her 30+year old ass taunting little gal incident, we have all reserved no formalities for her. she invited us to her place for a bbq (why else, cos i live in a terrace n u dun), so  we all rejected her. she felt so insulted, her own bro n sis n their families all dun giv her face.. cant believe sumone whu claims to be highly educated can land herself in such a scornful situation... and wats wif the why-arent-u-guys-doing-honours when 1) she herself nv went to uni 2) her ugly daughter cant even get into a better sec sch than mine ... bottom line: I will not find any reason to look dwn on u unless u look dwn on me

++ mother of 2, nearing forties.. i realli pity her soul

++ mon celebrated ninny's bday... realise that as we get older such things get simpler.. (i now wish i dun have to be reminded that im older another year) we went to bubble tea n had lots of junk, talked and proceeded to 4 of singapore's remaining traditional swings.. gou ninni n i swung the shit out of ourselves while coward feiju watched on, den stopped when 3 of us felt like puking... morons can think better

++ midway P msged, i ignored...

++ like wat i told ninny i realli wanna treasure my present relationship. that day dear n i had a talk out of the blue, during gd mood nite and we got so caught up n even drove to a park to talk.. i realise that there were so many things that were mistaken between us during anger of conflicts, that we fail to see the rationale behind until now... after explaination from both sides we realli had a better understanding... he went back to police tis week but we realli make effort to spend quality time together, n he also made effort to care more in my way which i realli appreciated

++which is why i told ninny i jus wan to gie up wasting my time n effort to care for someone who can be so volatile

++ den back at hm i remembered that its his bday the next day, den i found the decency to reply..

++ guess ive tot it thru: one cant have the best of both worlds, neither can one try to give the best to both worlds

++ post thailand have found me disinterested in GSS... nothing interesting aft browsing that day.  i wanna go Perth!!!!!!!!!

++ work first, work first! 2 interviews coming up... but im still hoping for mindef's results... but i dun wanna wait in vain

++ wat if sumone offers me a job in the next 2 interviews and mindef calls up aft ive taken that job

++ wat if i extinguish all my chances in the next 2 interviews and mindef says i've failed the test

++ worse, wat if i die in the next 2 days.........

++ everything is predestined? unpredictable?

I dreamt of my grandpa, dreamt that he woke up and talked to me, told me he wanted to sleep.

den sumone told me, he wasnt ready to die back then, it was a mistake.

which is when i knew i cannot comfort myself that it wasnt my fault anymore. i should have went stayed overnight there, right?

++ well guys, its my pleasure to show my exciting life to u. i have nv been thru such an exciting period in my life, i can hardly breathe. Yeah i din blog for q sum time, yes cos im so so so busy managing my exciting life, i have no time to update. n i m so busy and excited, that i can onli afford sum miniscule amt of time to write in the points. hurray. my exciting life includes the following..

• i m jobless
• i sleep at 4 am everynite (every morning)
• i wake up at differing times of the day
• i eat
• i get fat
• i rejected an interview

Cheers to my exciting life! its so cool, i'd never commit suicide!

++ troubled.. and quiet.. and i dunno why

++ maybe its because mindef's test was a total killer... am proud that i was the first to finish the 2nd part IQ strategic analysis, but had this feeling that my first report wasnt impressive enough.. and that sucked cos i realli wanted this job... got to noe this gal, whu completed her masters in soci, during the test... she offered me alternative to 60 cents science park shuttle.. in her mini cooper...

++ den i think abt why i put myself up against a masters grad. n think abt my slim chance of aceing that test....

++ maybe it was because i met P, for a super long dinner (for abt 2+ hrs i think) and we went shopping, and then i dunno wat happened we jus parted ways and never said goodbye..

++ it was as if i did sumthing wrong

++ reminded me abt those awful moments in the past, 6 yrs back, those times when god knows what happened, we din quarrel but din speak for 3 weeks...

++ things with him are so unpredictable. i realli dunno if he is pissed at me or what, cos i dun feel that i did anything wrong. infact it was bloody damn obvious that i cared for him.

++ what happened jus now became a blur... he refused to let me pay for dinner despite that he had been paying for me all these while. and he said next time.. sumhow i din like it, i dun wan him to pay for me... im not his gf.

++ i dunno but there is this past attitude lurking sumwhere behind, and i grew to realise that perhaps i have jus been fooled by appearances and its realli hard, either that or impossible, for a leopard to change its spots

++ den i met my bf, and suddenly in contrast i find him so supportive... so different from that one from the past, so..... normal.

++ yes we quarrel now n den, but i noe i can depend on him because he loves me the normal way...

++ i need stability in a relationship after all those years...

++ perhaps he is realli fed up with me now. having told me he needs me to motivate him, told me he feels he cannot match up n feels inferior, told today he wants a gal smarter than him...

++ but he refused to let me care abt him.

++ i realli appreciate my bf for everything, for loving me despite my caring for my ex.... my bf whu is jus there to give me a quiet hug today after i've realli washed out my energy and brain cells to care for sumone whu stil torments me with weirdness

++ i dun wan to go abck to those days... i dun wan to deal with weirdness anymore. i jus wan a normal, peaceful loving relationship...

++ perhaps what my frens say is rite: Feel no guilt cos i have not realli let him dwn

++ U noe, i tried to care, try to make u feel good. but i dun realli have to, and i noe it right at the moment u jus walked away.

++ well that might sounds smug, or BHB, or watever...

++ but i've graduated from world's top 18th uni!!!!!! hahaha.. crap fuck. i hate NUS, but whu cares i paid my sch fees so i expect to get sumthing in return. checked my results today with thunderous thumping heartbeat, cos i realli cannot afford anything to go wrong for final sem, yet after all six modules for which i have been totally slacking n last min premier of lecture notes b4 exams, i'm one lucky asshole to have scored okay and pulled up my cap that was sent to basement eighteen during my bloody 1st year.

++ he was a bit sad that i scored jus a little bit higher than him for all the 3 mods we took together... but he's got an A this sem!!!! +howls in injustice+  A sharp-tipped alphabet! i've nv seen in in the whole of my life in NUS! am i retarded or wat.

++ speaking abt retards, i watched SouthPark episode The Death of Eric Cartman, where he tot he was dead when his pals started to ignore him cos he ate the chicken skin off every piece of KFC fried chicken.. n he wanted to get his wandering spirit to heaven, so he listed dwn his sins and tries to atone for them, and one of which was.. "i pretended to be retarded so that i could join the Special Olympics"... den proceeded to send a hamper to them.. wa that one got me laffing. i jus luv lame shit.

++ out of point.

++next piece of good news: after 2 self-claimed FLOPPED interviews with inkline global and NKF (i was apparently crapping my answers on the spot), Ministry of Defense called me down for a test tomorrow for the Research Associate post! A TEST!!! what on earth are they testing on i have zero idea. all i noe is they wan sumone with acute awareness of regional and international current affairs (haven been blackening my fingers with newspapers lately) flair for learning regional languages ( D for basic Japanese? aku tak tahu... sarrwarrde-cup! yoh-pu-seh-yoh.. ni na ya)

++ Life is a difficult journey.. u slog ur intestines out studying and u get ur head sore looking for a nice job with gd prospects

++ we watched despo housewives and had this talk abt parenting, esp aft the part lynette n bree had this "conflict" abt spanking kids... we talked abt kids hell alot, aft attending brianna's party n he totally loved xuewen cos she is jus soo so so innocent n funny! cant help smiling when she is so fat and she speaks thru the gap in her frnt 2 teeth...

++ i asked him abt his ideology that day, aft what brothers point out that a couple can have different character but must more or less have the same ideology in life... and breathed in relief that his is q flexi-accomodating to mine...

++ said he is gonna get that accounting cert n take over dad's firm, say he wanna establish more n when he has the money he wants to start a family...

++ which means... i can have room to establish lots for myself.

++ WHICH I WILL.

decided to browse ard frenster.. this is wat i saw

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Wats wrong with his network of frens huh???